Manifesting the present

Some updates after a long hiatus.

So, I have clearly not been keeping up with my posts here over the last few years.  There was so much change going on, I didn’t know where I was going to land.  I am now finished with the clinical portion of my midwifery studies at MLL.  I have relocated back to my hometown of Oakland, CA.  I am working again as a RN in the job I dreamed up for myself while at MLL.  No, really.  On New Years Eve of 2015-2016 I created a vision board, one of my NYE rituals, and on it I included two scraps of paper from an ad for SF General Hospital.  SFGH was the one place I could imagine re-entering my nursing profession, and training as a Perinatal RN.  Why is SFGH so special?

  • It is a birth center in a community hospital with 24 hour midwifery care specializing in normal birth.
  • A teaching hospital where the staff MDs are all faculty at UCSF, and do shift work instead of being on call, meaning they are in-house and engaged in patient care 24/7.
  • Provides compassionate evidence-based care primarily to underserved populations, most on Medi-Cal, Medicare or uninsured.  We provide care for medically high-risk patients and folks with very complicated psycho-social backgrounds.
  • Baby Friendly designation means exclusive breast feeding is strongly encouraged and supported
  • Very low c-section rates, impressive especially with the highly complex patient population we serve
  • Providers who are skilled in vaginal delivery of twins and breech presentations
  • 24/7 free volunteer doula program for labor and postpartum
  • AND it’s also set in a beautiful new state-of-the-art building, with private rooms, and gorgeous artwork all over.  I think our patients are really lucky 🙂

So, yeah, I love it here.  I couldn’t imagine doing hospital work anywhere else.

That being said, I am still working towards my travel midwifery career.  This current position has given me so much extra training in managing high-risk situations for mom and baby, tons of lactation experience and a great understanding of hospital policies and best-practices.  It has also provided me the financial security to finally pay off my student loans and obtain a level of freedom that will enable me to do what I really am passionate about down the line…It’s all in the works folks.  Patience has been a great teacher this year.

I continue to foster relationships with other midwives and have some exciting developments lining up for later in 2019.

In my time off I have been traveling a lot to the coast of Nayarit and Jalisco MX, surfing, being barefoot, sailing, adventuring, doing yoga and really working on some deep healing that needed to happen after the tumultuous last few years that involved a breakup, a major move (leaving an entire life and business behind in another country), a very demanding midwifery residency and then a new job.   I feel so much closer to my true path these days.  Having just returned from a beautiful month off, I am deeply renewed and re-invigorated.  My next steps feel stronger and clearer.  I am truly thrilled for what comes next.

One of the amazing sunrises from my recent sailing adventure on the Sea of Cortez

Fun Ways to Reflect During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a great time to delve into your inner world.  Connect, reflect and meditate on the journey with these great pregnancy journals and coloring books:

Ten Moons Meditation Journal by Spirit y Sol

Spirit y Sol journal

Soften Open Release, a Coloring Book of Birth Affirmations by Amber Delaine

Soften, Open, Release

#ANote2Self Meditation Journal by Alex Elle


The Cunt Coloring Book by Tee Corinne

The Cunt Coloring Book

Sacred Pregnancy – A Loving Guide and Journal for Expectant Moms by Anni Daulter

Sacred Pregnancy

Do you all have other resources or favorite Journals, Coloring Books, or Birth Affirmations?  I would love to hear them and add them to the list.

You are not alone, the shadow side of birth

Because my last post was all about the “Babymoon”, that sticky sweet time of bonding, breastfeeding and beaming at your newborn…this post is about the oft overlooked flip side of birth (and pregnancy); those darker more complex feelings many birth parents experience, but may feel unable to openly discuss.  We have a general acceptance of the “baby blues” in our society, but Postnatal (and Perinatal) Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and OCD are very real and can affect anyone, even when all seemingly goes to plan.  Check out this article and excellent infographic by and the following piece on Birth Trauma. infographic

Bear Mama Medicine Guide to Postpartum

Loving this piece on the Fourth Trimester, endearingly referred to here as the “Babymoon”.

Blogger Bear Mama Medicine has some great tips for how to set up for your postpartum, and ensure you get the most rest and bonding time with your little.   Check out the full blog post on her page to learn more about the physiology of the postpartum, recommendations for physical and mental health, and a great list of additional resources.

“Babymoon. In my experience as a doula and educator, I see more people focus on the lovely things that they’d like to have at their births and less on what the days and weeks afterward will look like, beyond who will be there to help them out and how they plan on feeding themselves.

Those two things are certainly the biggest, most basic priorities for planning what your postpartum time (or fourth trimester) will look like, but overlooking the other ways that you should expect to be nourished, supported, and looked after is a setup for burnout and resentment. If you’re prone to mood swings, depression, and other mental health concerns, now is the time to take extra care and caution and make self-care a priority.”

Fascinating article on Breastfeeding from

“According to Hinde, when a baby suckles at its mother’s breast, a vacuum is created. Within that vacuum, the infant’s saliva is sucked back into the mother’s nipple, where receptors in her mammary gland read its signals. This “baby spit backwash,” as she delightfully describes it, contains information about the baby’s immune status. If the mammary gland receptors detect the presence of pathogens, they compel the mother’s body to produce antibodies to fight it, and those antibodies travel through breast milk back into the baby’s body, where they target the infection.”

Recently I have seen a new article on Home Birth vs Hospital Birth circulating on social media. This response caught my eye, a piece on autonomy in women’s reproductive choices by Birth Anarchy Blog.  She posits, it should not merely be a discussion about what method of birthing is safer or better, though this is helpful in making informed choices, but any such conversation must also respect what the woman ultimately decides is right for her, whatever her reasons may be, and trust that her choice is the right choice.

What are your thoughts?

“These conversations  – about homebirth studies, about home vs. hospital – they’re never really about safety.

They are about control.

They are about keeping women in their place.

They are about restricting access to choice.”

Home vs Hospital Debate Misses Mark 

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